勇敢！我佩服你！

昨天去了sunway pyramid... 刚好我妈要买花，就去了那边的花展。平时都爱杀价的妈，一如既往的问那销售员是否可以减价。让我惊讶的是，那销售员还蛮帅一下。我跟妈都陶醉在那花里，也不察觉那销售员是否有听到。等了一会儿，怎么不听见那销售员的回答呢？看了一看他，他竟然在给我比手势。原来那帅哥是哑的。我真的被吓着了，不是因为他是哑的，而是我们都忽略了我们身边随时都会出现这情况。其实我真的很佩服他，要是给其他人，可能他们还不能够与外界接触呢！真的不能歧视他们的毅力。我在此以万二分的敬意，谢谢他！尊敬他！

是否......没那么简单？

昨天，有个朋友要我听了他最欣赏的一首歌...好久好久没人告诉我哪首歌好听而要我去听了，原本是他要发送给我但是不争气的msn把他send来的那首歌给停止了。当时真的很想把我的电脑给摔掉...终于在酷我下载了这首歌...

听了这首歌，果然让我emo了一下。我朋友说这首歌与她的声音真的配合得天衣无缝，而我也认同了这首歌...

WHOA~!!

Wow... It's been almost a year i've not updated my blog... I'm so sorry my friends i've been busy with my studies and all... Yeah, after all those nonsense happened... I've decided not to do anything to it and leave it all alone... Well, probably some of you would say... "Hey, it's stupid to leave it there..." well, i can tell you, i've done a correct decision... So far (touch wood) I would say nothing unfortunate happen... ^^ Well, my life went on after that day the stenting was in... I resumed my life for my studies... And of course, i've already removed my stenting as well in December last year... Well, so far my blood test was fine everytime... LOL... God bless... Thanks a lot to those who concerned about me and I'm sorry for those who wanted me to die... LOL... I'm glad that i'm still alive safe and sound here~!! Thanks a lot guys~!!

DoMiNiC @ DaNieL

Things has sorted out... But...

Yeah finally things has been sorted out... I've done an intergrade stenting into my kidney to prevent it from swell... But yet it still comes to an arguement on both oncologist and urologist... My oncologist said:" Operation is need for your RPLN Dissection, no chemotherapy will be given...", where my urologist said:"Chemotherapy is needed, we can't proceed with the RPLND cuz it's too big to be dissected..." So what the hell is going on? I mean can't they just give me a confirm decision? ARGH~~!!!! Okay let me tell you what is going on... Chemotherapy didn't shrink my so called "enlarged lymph nodes"... I've took 4 cycles of BEP to reduce my tumor markers and yet it worked! But it didn't work on my lymph nodes... So which means it's either a growing teratoma or it's actually just a cyst... Ya according to the oncologist, whatever which is remained from the chemotherapy will have to be operated... But just imagine a size of 11cm x 11cm x 7cm in my abdomen area which is ENCAVING MY AORTA... So what will happen if operation is performed? WOO~ A great BIG MASSIVE EXPLOSION it will be... I really don't know what is the correct way to deal with this... Shall i just leave it alone? Or shall i go ahead with the damn bloody risky operation? No one knows what is the successful rate of the opt will be cuz it's too massive to be estimated... Things can't be predicted as well... Dillema has come to me again... To do or not to do? Leave it or do it? Anyone can tell me?

Praying hard...

I'll be admitting into the hospital today in the afternoon for the stenting process done... I don't know what is going to happen for the stenting but just pray hard that it will be fine... And till today i'm still praying very hard for my biopsy report... It's still not out yet... The pending mood makes me go crazy soon... It's really unpredictable... How come things are always like that? Can't it be a little bit more predictable? The way that the radiologist said that day was really 'nothing'... But who will know what exactly it will be? God knows... I would like to say my prayer here... "Dear Lord, I'm your child. Please heal me with your blood and take away my disease. I'm really lost and getting nervous. Please Lord, please tell me what will happen to me and make it to be a good one. I know you can do it for me."

Punctured kidney...

Finally, everything has went past... I've spent 5 days in the hospital... was admitted into the hospital on monday evening... and they punctured my kidney with the nephrostomy tube on tuesday morning... it was really painful when they inserted the tube into my body... pain~ and i've been resting in the hospital for the next 2 days and friday morning my biopsy was being taken from my lymph nodes... i will have to admit into the hospital next week again to insert another stand into my kidney so that i will not be carrying an urine bag around... and this is where the suspence comes in cuz i need to wait for the results to be out for the lymph nodes... pray hard... that it is just some fluid that is not harmful in it... please God...

Point of no return...

I've finally done my ct scan on monday... and i've got the results on tuesday... First when i was into the consultation room, the doctor showed me my ct scan... It shows that my lymph nodes has enlarged from 5.9cm to 7.4cm... All these while i've been thinking... Would there be any miracle happen to me? Well, i've got the answer... It's NONE~! It was a terrible thing to see my lymph nodes are getting bigger and bigger... And it is actually sitting on the tube from my kidney to my bladder and it blocks the urine going thru... It's swollen at my kidney... So the doctor told me the only way is to do a biopsy on the lymph nodes and then put a needle on my kidney so that it would release the urine out from my kidney directly... I was totally break down... It's like i've been thru so many things and now i have to face it all over again... Chemotherapy... Surgery... and now, additional urine bag until the lump sitting on my tube disappear... Oh God, if i do have a choice, can You please guide me? I've enough with all these sufferings... What are they supposed to do with me? Is it my karma from the past? I really don't know... Anyone who came thru my blog can you please pray for me? I know i might be a bit too much asking for this but i really hope by this way it will help me... God, please save my life... Bring me out from suffering... Bring me away from all my sickness... Amen...